Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Boulder Makes Worst Dressed List

Okay, Boulder had this one coming.

After being too pleased with itself for being America's brainiest city, the nation's second healthiest town, the winner of Tree City USA, Top Ten Winter Towns, America's Foodiest Town, Top Ten Best Cities for the Next Decade, The Best City to Raise an Outdoor Kid, and the IBM Smarter Cities Challenge Winner, we have come to understand we are the 40th Worst Dressed City in America, compliments of GQ magazine:


Strolling through this charming university town, you are most likely to find three major categories of clothing: 1) anything made by North Face 2) anything made by Patagonia 3) fanny packs. The observant eye will also spot unmistakable seasonal trends, such as Adidas for Fall, Crocs for Spring, and Uggs for Summer (we have no explanation for this). These are often accompanied by Boulder's year-round go-to accessory, the wheatgrass shot (sometimes paired with an unidentifiable vegan "cookie"). Yet of Boulder's 100,000 people, about 30,000 are students, some 99.9% are blonde, and all of them in better shape than you. This town is always obnoxiously flaunting its "fittest-place-in-the-country" awards, and you will be hard-pressed to find one person here, including your 85-year-old grandmother, without a six-pack. It is, in fact, a worst-dressed city that looks best naked. So Boulderites, do your fellow citizens a favor: next time you reach for the biking-shorts-and-sneakers as eveningwear combo, just take it all off.

And no, VisionLink does not support that last line.

Dr. W. Douglas Zimmerman
President & CEO
VisionLink, Inc.



Sources in order:

Portfolio.com, 2010
Men's Health, 2010
National Geographic, 2010
Bon AppĂ©tit magazine, 2010
Kiplinger's Personal Finance, 2010
Backpacker, 2009
GQ magazine, 2011